


High Score

by Delancey_Facade



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, dumb jerk boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2124864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delancey_Facade/pseuds/Delancey_Facade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quantifying things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High Score

**Author's Note:**

> *tugs collar* Um. NSFW... _ish._

The good thing about kind of sort of having a _type_ was that you eventually figured out a thing or two about how to get along with your partner. That said, having dated ladies _like_ Croach still wasn't enough of a preparation.

Eventually, though, Sparks figured out that _super literal alien speak_ was not always actually that literal, that sometimes it was just as much of a roundabout as "How does this dress make me look?" and "I don't want you to do that, I want you to _want_ to do that." Which was still vaguely unfathomable to him, but less so in general.

And sometimes statements like "This day has been the third most pleasant day you and I have spent together" weren't so much an active revision of the value of previous experiences so much as another way of saying _this is nice_.

And sometimes they were, and it was the worst.

Especially in bed.

"Sparks Nevada, that was only the thirty-first best orgasm I have ever experienced.  Do you feel unwell tonight?"

Sparks groaned and rolled away from Croach, and almost clapped his hand over his face before he remembered why that would be a terrible idea. "Shut uuuuuuuup."

"I am expressing genuine concern."

"No. Ugh, one of 'em has to be... thirty-first or whatever. That's not even that bad... out of... the total. Right? Ugh."

"It is not a judgement, Sparks Nevada."

"It actually literally is."

"It is a quantification."

"Yeah, well you are quantifiably the top one worst at pillow talk so... there."

"And your performance remains in the middle of the bell curve."

Math being involved was bad enough, but graphs were just insulting. "You know... You know what?" Sparks rolled back over to face Croach, a hint of flint in the gravel of his voice. "I hope you ain't tired yet, because _new data point_."

"I did not intend to imply--"

"You are such a _liar_ ," Sparks said, and kissed him before he could refute it.

* * *

"So?"

"...Ninth--"

" _Winner_."


End file.
